Yesterday we hit a new low. What did today bring?
Tories – This is a good message for the Tories I would have thought, but all the negative stuff suggests they don’t think people are buying it:
Labour – This is also a positive message Labour can sell (not that it’s that impressive), but they keep sticking up videos of Bilbo Baggins instead:
Lib Dems – Walking a tight-rope at the moment. On the one hand, they want to take credit for this:
…but also want to say this (while not ruling out another Lib Dem/Tory Coalition of course):
UKIP – There is barely a fag paper between UKIP and FUKP at the moment:
Greens – I just can’t see it:
SNP – Could be lot of recounts north of the border in the early hours of May 8th:
Plaid Cymru – Struggling to be heard is my perception. Maybe Thursday will change things:
Today we entered the election campaign proper, and to mark this momentous occasion, I thought I’d do something a bit different. Every Monday from now until the election, I’ll launch a new competition. The winner will be announced each Friday. There will be prizes, but it’s just a bit of fun.
Here’s the first question:
The 7 party debate takes place this Thursday. To the nearest 100,000, how many people will watch it live on ITV?
Who will be declared winner of the debate (according to first poll result announced)?
Leave your answers in the comments below (e.g. 10.2 million; David Cameron). Closest answer wins. When you comment, leave an email address (not made public), which will be used only to contact the winner. Competition closes on Thursday 2nd April at 7pm.
This week’s prize is a hardback copy of Tony Benn’s 2001-2007 Diaries “More Time for Politics”.
I will contact the winner on Friday to arrange delivery.
UPDATE 12:40pm Friday: Peak viewing figures announced for last night were 7.4m, so the winner is Korev67, who said 7.7m.
First day of the short campaign today after Parliament was dissolved.
Tories – Think it’s safe to call this bullshit:
Labour – Labour still outpolling the Tories in Middle Earth:
Lib Dems – But will the Lib Dems benefit again?:
UKIP – UKIP emulate Labour with five pledges of their own:
Greens – Mugs seem to be this year’s must have accessory:
SNP – Coasting now:
Plaid Cymru – Bid day for Plaid on Thursday:
Tories – Great minds think alike, but so do these geniuses…
Labour – 40 days, 40 ways. Bit more positive at least:
Lib Dems – A yellow submarine might be more useful, as the Lib Dems sink:
UKIP – My enemies enemy is my friend. Seriously though, this is what happens when you appoint a snake oil salesman as your party chairman:
Greens – Nothing today
SNP – That message is probably enough to win in Scotland:
Plaid Cymru – Nothing today
The short campaign kicks off tomorrow!
Tories – Time to go big or go home on the NHS:
Labour – Really hope Valerie is real and not just Labour’s Corinne Stockheath of Surrey:
Lib Dems – By my calculations, this is 20,000 doors each. Is that even possible?:
UKIP – A rare photo of Nigel Farage standing outside a pub holding a pint:
Greens – This sounds like a blast:
SNP – Did not know he was Scottish. I love Line of Duty:
Plaid Cymru – Some rather damp looking Welsh Nationalists:
Tories – “We think you are idiots and that you’ll think this looks bad”:
Labour – Labour can edit videos too:
Lib Dems – As we said before, we are the fag paper that separates the Tories from Labour:
UKIP – Did you see what he did there?:
Greens – That jacket…:
SNP – Conference time:
Plaid Cymru – Campaign launch:
TUSC – What TUSC stands for (it’s Trade Unionist and Socialist Coalition isn’t it?)
There were some last minute shenanigans in the House of Commons today on the final day of this Parliament. The top brains in the Tory Party knocked their heads together and came up with a cunning wheeze to nobble Speaker John Bercow’s chances of continuing in the job in the next Party. They were counting on enough MPs being away from Parliament to ensure their plan went off without a hitch. Unfortunately, word got out and they had not counted on just how many of their MPs still had some principals left. Long story short, the plan failed and it looks like Bercow’s speakership will survive for another term. Here is the full story.
This story in many ways is a perfect sign-off for this Government. A group of over-educated knobs scheming to circumvent proper process to force through changes without proper debate. Not for the first time, these geniuses have failed spectacularly to get their way leaving themselves with egg on their faces. The look on John Bercow’s face as the result was announced suggests he won’t forget this in a while.
Many Tory MPs spoke out against the Government’s trick, with Charles Walker being credited with giving the most powerful speech. Here it is. It is very good. Short, sharp, scathing and emotional, it was received by a round of applause from the opposition benches.
As much as it was a good speech though, the though did come to mind “This is what draws you to tears?” The shenanigans today were around a rather technical matter of how the decision on whether or not to keep the Speaker is made. It’s not an issue that is going to have much impact on anyone’s live and yet in the debate we saw some of the greatest passion and most furious anger of the Parliament. Where were these people when we really needed them?
Anyway, that was the curtain call for this Parliament. Next week, candidates officially become candidates as we enter the short campaign. What fun.
Tories – Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right..:
Labour – Leave that ex horse alone:
Lib Dems – Draw a line for Labour, then a second half a millimetre away for the Tories, take out a magnifying glass and observe us slap bang in the middle:
UKIP – Join the People’s Army:
Greens – The Tories raised £160k by auctioning a bust of Mrs T. Just saying:
SNP – Not to be confused with the more well-known Mumsnet:
Plaid Cymru – No offence, but I’ll be giving that one a miss:
Tories – This attack line had a lifespan of about 2 hours:
Labour – As you can see:
When the main parties start ruling stuff out like this, it suggests they don’t really fancy their chances of winning. Just saying…
Lib Dems – Nick Clegg enters the lions’ den:
UKIP – Hurray, a policy. Don’t get the reference to the EU, but I’m sure there is one:
Greens – In full agreement with UKIP (on HS2):
SNP – Actually seem to know what they’re doing which is refreshing:
Plaid Cymru – Another lost cause?: